We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
