so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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