im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
