hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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