I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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