just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
40s are totally the cure
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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