i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
