Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
