I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
