I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
