Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
then he tried to convert me to islam
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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