we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
No more Irish car bombs ever.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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