if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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