she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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