Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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