guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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