someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
