Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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