So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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