I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
