I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
