Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
