Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
tell me about the fingering
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