i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she looked like the before picture.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
