Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
