ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
