I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
