he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
