Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
