if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
