i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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