I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize