I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
