There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
