Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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