i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
