WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
