Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
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