I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
