oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
