She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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