She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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