this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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