let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
