I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
