oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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