this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize