too bad you live with your parents still
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
