I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
