We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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