he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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