I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
