Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize