i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
