What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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