I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
