You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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