wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
