Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
