Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
