I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
